A Big Brother’s Address to His Little Sister on Her Wedding Day

Good evening, everyone. My name is Joshua Budimlic, and I am Dakota’s oldest and only brother. You may recognize me as the man who had the honor of walking Dakota down the aisle only a few short hours ago. And if you don’t recognize me, well, that’s understandable—there’s a handful of you I don’t recognize either. And whether I know you or not, the fact remains that “I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve”—don’t worry, I assure you that works out to a compliment.

  Also, many of us Budimlic men really do look alike. Whether for better or for worse, I find that we tend to blend together after a while. And now that I think of it—Jonathan, you’ll fit right in.

  When Dakota was young, she was fiercely independent—almost to a fault—so much so that she spent much of her time as a child playing on her own. This didn’t seem to bother her in the slightest. Indeed, no one seemed able to keep up with her imagination, and so she spent much time entertaining herself throughout childhood, seemingly content.

  Anyone who knows Dakota also knows that she is wildly creative and imaginative—she has blossomed into a talented artist and, more recently, a very capable hairstylist as well. Something for which I, and my wallet, am eternally grateful.

  Some years ago, one of the first things Dakota and I began to bond over was a shared love for books and stories. In particular, we shared a deep, mutual affection for The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings.

  Before either of us became believers in the Lord Jesus Christ, there was something about Tolkien’s storytelling that drew both Dakota and me into his fictional world, even as we were drawn out of this fallen world. The stories of Middle-Earth, though fictional, cast long shadows beyond themselves onto firmer ground beyond the horizon and around the next bend.

  As a Christian, Tolkien well understood the power of the written word, of fictional worlds, and stories, and how these various elements—though make-believe—helped point our hearts and imaginations towards the Lord God and the magnificent story He’s telling—a story which Tolkien would often refer to as “the One True Myth.”

  In His time, the Lord saw it fit to draw Dakota and me into this vast story. What began between us as a love for books soon blossomed into a love for the book, the Bible, and an ever-deepening love for its Author—the Lord Himself, our Savior.

  I said that Dakota is a fiercely independent and creative individual. That’s true. She’s also a rather reserved individual. Indeed, we must be related. When Dakota gave her life to Christ, being the soft-spoken young woman she is, she took her sweet time telling me that she was now a Christian. But that was hardly of importance—words weren’t necessary to communicate the seismic shift that had taken place in her life and heart.

  The Bible says that “if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” My wife and I have often said to one another that Dakota’s conversion to Christ is one of the sweetest, simplest, and most obvious examples of what it means to repent of sin, cling to Christ, and walk in the newness of life.

  In the book of 1 John, he writes: “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.” I am not Dakota’s father. I am, however, her older brother—and as an older brother, I scarcely have greater joy than to see my little sisters “walking in the truth.” I thank the Lord that He gave me the blessing of my three sisters twice over; first as their older brother in this life, and then as their brother in Christ, both in this life and in the one to come.

  Words cannot express what an encouragement your faith is to me, Dakota. The sincerity of your affection for God and His word, the way in which you consume books and sermons about the truth, the joy I see beaming from your person day by day, and the love you have for the church, your family, and Jonathan—these virtues will serve you well as you enter this new season of marriage.

  After Tata went home to be with the Lord, I often felt as though two roles were simultaneously thrust upon me—that of the sole, protective older brother, and something of a father role as well. And while I tried my best to assume these twin roles as “the man of the house” while we all lived together at home, I nonetheless grieve with you, Dakota, that Tata is not here today. No one can truly take his place or step into his shoes, or venture a guess as to what he might say to you and Jonathan on your wedding day. Not even me.

  But if I know anything about Tata, I know that he would rejoice above all that you are “walking in the truth,” that you are pursuing hard after Christ and pursuing a godly man of whom the very same can be said. This was his chief prayer for all of us as his children.

  If Tata were here, I suspect it would be at about this point that he’d turn the conversation to God and His word.

  Even before Tata passed away, it was our Heavenly Father who was—and is, and ever will be—our true father, the One to whom all the very best fathers dimly point. It’s Christ who, though He is Lord and God over all, was the perfect elder brother to you and your sisters, whether in the best or worst of times. Whatever God’s reasons were for taking Tata home when He did, we can most certainly say it was in large part that we may come to know Him better as Brother, Father, and Lord.

  In Ephesians 5, however, we find the most unexpected truth of all: that those in Christ are not only sons and daughters of the Most High, not simply brothers and sisters in Christ; but the mystery of mysteries, we as the church are Christ’s bride.

  Paul concludes his discourse on marriage in Ephesians 5 by going all the way back to Genesis, to the very dawn of creation, when he says: “‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.”

  This is a profound mystery, indeed.

  Dakota, as Jonathan’s wife, it is now your joyful, God-given duty to submit to him as your husband out of a sincere, loving reverence for Christ as Lord, even as He submitted to the Father in joyful obedience.

  Jonathan, as Dakota’s husband, you now have the weighty responsibility of imitating Christ in your marriage—to lead and love sacrificially, to be responsible and accountable before the Lord; to provide, protect, and pray for your family as their shepherd under Christ, the true good Shepherd.

  I am not your father, Dakota. But if he were here, I suspect he would say to you and Jonathan many of the very same things I’ve just said, for there are scarcely more profound words on marriage to be found than those in Ephesians 5. Were he here, Tata would have pointed you towards Christ and His word, and I hope I’ve done just that.

  Marriage is a high calling, one of the highest; and it is a joyful calling, one of the most joyful. Tata would have been so very proud of the young, godly woman you’ve become, and he would have loved the man you’ve chosen as your husband.

  I look forward to the day when we’ll see him again. To the day when I will no longer have to speak on his behalf because he will be there to speak for himself. Like you, I long to be reunited and gathered home together as a family once more—not as Tata’s children, but as brothers and sisters in Christ, and as sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father. Once there, we will all take part, alongside Tata and all the redeemed, in the marriage feast of the Lamb—then we will see this thing we call marriage as it truly is.

  But until that day, Jonathan and Dakota, love the Lord, submit to Him, and serve Him with all your heart as you seek to love and serve one another in Him.

  And always remember that you are loved. You are loved by your many friends and family, by your Tata, by your Heavenly Father, by Christ your elder brother, and by me, your other big brother.

Truly, I love you both.

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Photo by ashleyphotography.ca

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